Passive aggressive behavior has various traits and levels of disguising the way a person with this disorder truly feels at any given moment.
This type of behavior is reactive and is identified by non-verbal aggressive actions or reactions. Anger and frustration are bottled up instead of being discussed in a proactive manner and the outlet is often negative, with an indirect method of communicating with others about the way you may be feeling.
Not all passive aggressive people are overt with such actions; others tend to keep a lid on how they feel, hiding the rage until it begins to further annoy them.
Here Are Some Passive Aggressive Examples
• Sudden (violent) Outbursts
• Moodiness/mood swings
• Evading contact – verbal or physical
• Sudden, frequent changes in attitude
It is not always easy to recognize when you are in the company of a passive aggressive as most of these individuals can often display a calm and approachable demeanor, making it difficult for others to know or understand what the passive aggressive is really thinking or feeling at any time.
An important thing to note:
Not all people who can relate to the above traits/characteristics are passive aggressive – all humans have experienced most if not all of the above at some stage in their lives, so if you’re beginning to worry yourself then take a step back; this does not necessarily mean that you have this disorder.
However, if you find that you can identify with the above and that these characteristics are frequent, then you would be wise to inform your doctor of these occurrences ASAP.
Many relationships suffer due to passive-aggressive behavior. People who suffer with PAB will often lash out indirectly at the people who they’re mostly in contact with each day; manipulating others into a situation in which they’re powerless to understand or resolve because they are not really aware of what the true problem is (hence the ‘passive aggressive’ causing the confusion), and this addition of frustration from the recipients of the passive-aggressive person only adds to an already tense and perplexing situation.
Passive aggressive behavior is rife within many relationships, the world-over, affecting partners, parents, children and friends.
The PAB will often seek out those people who they’re sure will act according to their requests; acting in ways that almost force others to cooperate with their demands, although the truth of the matter is seldom ever clear, especially when the passive aggressive makes themselves unavailable; lack of communication, mumbling, one worded answers, no eye contact, smashing up property in a show of strength instead of communicating the real issue.
Criticism is another method used to mask any feelings of vulnerability that a passive aggressive might have in order to throw someone off-scent so as to hide the true emotions – a form of reverse psychology to throw the internal pain and suffering onto others in an effort of further manipulation.
There is difficulty in any sort of rational behavior from the passive-aggressive due to their turbulent emotional activity which causes the outburst with the emotional availability, self-loathing and other destructive patterns.
Hence, why they feel the need to off-load onto another as the tension that is held within becomes too much to bear and so, needs an outlet – which is often an indirect action or attitude.
Passive aggressive behavior is no longer diagnosable by psychologists and often becomes a habit if not treated soon enough, which can lead to a person falling deeper into the hole of despair and depression, as well as imposing this disorder onto to other well-intentioned people.
Should you suspect anyone in your family or social circles to have this disorder, but you’d rather not go down the medical or professional route, then you can always research passive-aggressive behavior, and arm yourself with enough knowledge to at least keep yourself well informed and up-to-date.
Knowledge is power and sometimes is just enough to begin to make a difference.
Are You In A Passive Aggressive Relationship Video
Has Passive Aggressive Behavior Affected Your Life?
Do you believe that you have suffered in life as a result of passive aggressive behavior?
Are there times where you can relate to the characteristics of PAB?
Many people just get on with their lives, unaware that they are passive-aggressive, some have never had the knowledge to identify their behavior patterns and how PAB has been dominant in their life for so long without pause or end.
To control or rid something requires knowledge that it exists before any real changes can be made. A good place to begin would be to review your life to as far back as you can remember, and start to question your behavior patterns towards others and your reasons for behaving the way you did.
We all have characteristics that are indeed similar to PAB, but that does not label any person who shares some of the traits as a passive-aggressive, but instead, a person who shows constant signs of these characteristics.
Do you think that you have and continue to behave in a way that would suggest that you have PAB? If so, which areas of your life (and other people’s lives) have been damaged as a result such behavior and for how long?
How to Deal with A Passive Aggressive
Relationships are usually the first to suffer the backlash of such passive behavior. If you have been in an intimate relationship for some time, you will be able to identify times when you’ve pushed others away with a covert/indirect approach, or maybe your relationships have suffered as a result of an inability to communicate with honesty and openness?
Ambiguity is often used as a type of shield whenever a passive aggressive chooses to mask their true feelings; they’ll rarely ever speak in a direct manner, tending to evade questions by way of being indirect in their communication with others. Can you relate to this type of behavior?
Attitude is determined by the results sought after by the passive-aggressive. For example; a positive or negative attitude will be used in response to a lover, colleague, friend/family member, but even if the response from the passive aggressive is positive, it is likely to be masking their true thoughts or intentions. Similarly, if the response was a negative one then this too would usually be indirect in an effort to throw the recipient off scent.
Procrastination can be the efforts one would take to avoid others – for example; a passive-aggressive stalls the all-important meeting at work in an effort to punish the boss because they failed to issue that sought-after pay rise, and instead of confront the manager in a professional and reasonable manner, the PAB decides to dish out an indirect punishment, which is cutting off the nose to spite the face, as a simple discussion with the manager could have earned the pay rise, but that opportunity is now obsolete.
The victim is a role that many passive aggressive people act out in order to escape responsibility. It is far easier to adopt this role instead of face up to what seems to be so difficult. Never admitting their faults, always seeking to throw blame on other innocent folks, making out that they are indeed faultless or even perfect in some cases, this is another form of armor for a passive-aggressive.
This learned behavior stems from an early age for the majority of people with this disorder. If you feel that you need to make some changes in your life then it is best to start back at the beginning where it will be easier to determine the root cause of this condition.
You will need to be sure that you are not just over-reacting to what you think could be passive aggressive behavior.
As stated before, every person experiences some if not all of the characteristics of PAB, which does not automatically suggest that they have such a disorder, but instead you must check for signs of consistency that relates to passive-aggressive behavior, and how long things have been this way. We hope you’ve got a better understanding of the somewhat complex nature of the passive aggressive, but there is so much more to learn.